I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Randomize
