This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
