There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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