My room smells like vodka and shame
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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