just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
