then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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