I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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