thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
