Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize