you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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