Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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