he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
