I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
