do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
My ATM looks so different sober.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize