Umm I'm too high to move.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
