idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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