non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
