Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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