I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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