I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
