What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize