Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
