At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
honey bunches of taint.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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