we're chasing vodka with high fives
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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