I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
