she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
