Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
