It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
