Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
