On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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