Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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