Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
