Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
