the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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