don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
