I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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