I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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