...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
