i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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