Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
