But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
