thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
