I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
