how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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