im gay
i know
yea but for you.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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