even my farts smell like vagina
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Let's paint friendship bongs
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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