Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
