8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Randomize
