You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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