have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
