I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
you never un-have a 4some
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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