you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
