I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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