Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize