People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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