I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
