Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
