Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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