A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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