to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
