Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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