Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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