So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
