sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
