She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
