he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
