Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
