in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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