I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
