i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Mom said you looked used
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
