you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize