i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
