I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Walk of Shame today included voting.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
