It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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